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and missing few days for the hell of 2009 pa go home, and I can get an idea about how it was, a fucking obvious ... here I go ...

2009 for me was a year of change, strange. it goes without saying that it was but flying. I experienced an awful lot, many anxieties, many fights, many separations and enormous suffering, but I also realized that I have Milado QDE enormously valuable people who are everything to me.
sometimes think of this year, I just mean receurdos bad and painful, but as my mom told me a few days ago, we have a tendency to forget things quickly Beuna that happen and keep the bad so they go ruining our mood every time as the accumulated Ma'sara until they can and exploded. TYO so I prefer to remember everything.

This year was super changing de4sde loving side, I so happy until everything is gone, but appeared "ghosts of my past" but perhaps Cuatic ... which I loved at the time to leave again.

was nervous, I had to start a new period of my life, I had left my home of 12 years to get to a place where I knew no one, and given the circumstances he could be greatly declined. but her desire to start my life aecsribir was beginning to live the future that I dreamed of: being a journalist. It was difficult but achieved: first year of journalism done, and I'm going for the 2 nd.
another of my bumps, was to face the responsibilities of leading a group (although he was doing since mid-Previous, this might be worse and more coomplicado) and coordinate with college work and not with the intention of the friends Pereda had left school. However, I did also a wonderful release, well prepared, at 12 pm (real fan), in English (in a movie where almost all movies are dubbed), with gifts and tickets. undoubtedly one of my greatest achievements was reflected on the cover of a newspaper. An encounter between two regions a success, and yet there were many bad things too: fights, esplusiones, irreponsabilidades, the qui meant no headaches, tumors appeared. but were overcome, or at least, are in the process

are many things, many tasks, demasiadd responsibilities, and difficult to understand how it is to endure or do both. My dad asked me that when I told him I had done everything in the U.S., which last habiua the 14 branches of the year, and the truth is that I have only one answer: love, a great love for everything I do.

Finally this year is going, and will take many horrible things I expected out of me and leave me a taste of victory, success in thousands of ways, losing in others. When you have all that, and nothing remains but to thank God for the experienced, proque good things did you enjoy, you did grow up poor. I do not expect anything from this coming year, I surprised a countless number of things that could happen. To find and accounts, when these things come and there is nothing else to do. There is only esperra forward as each new year, a new opportunity to make things right, to change ...

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Adoles ... What?




Rabia.
I feel rage.
I say it's because of age, I'm young and I do not know what happens. I say this is the best part of life, and that one day, despite everything, I will remember fondly. I say evil of adolescence is passing too fast, and you do not learn that until it happened ... that's it, until it has passed and then miss.
Okay, so that's good.
I mean I give a damn all that stuff. It hurts me here and now, and what comes tomorrow ... come tomorrow. At worst I run out of adolescence and the day before a consistent catches me and goodbye. So the promise of a better tomorrow and full of beautiful memories of the past I slip, I give a damn pepper. I'm sick of my adolescence. Tired of feeling bad and do not know why. Harta of wanting to mourn, and cry, and love and many more, without knowing where they come from or where they go, like my head had a black hole from which escape me energy. Funny
all that damn roll adolescence. Who would think the buzzword? Anda Why are not stupid or anything! Do-do-les-cen-ing! Sounds like Disneyland, but sinister. Pure camouflage. I hate it.
I have to do something. I have to do something. I have to do something.
and do nothing.
What if I do nothing? Jo
adolescence! Last roll!
But I know what affects me. I know you feel angry. That's what I know, what counts and all that I care. A strong rage chokes me, I dominate, that makes me so, with that face and that pose, and anguish. To be the best part of my life, it hurts too much. So it can not be.
And that that happens very quickly ... I think it took forever anchored here, with moving, still. Every day, every week, every month. The weekend passed in a blink of an eye, but from Monday to Friday, time moves very slowly. Summers are a breath, the rest are dormant. Study, the daily fights, bad rolls, "see what you will do tomorrow", "if you always put a face ..."," say something, right? "," Studies, study, study "... Everything is against us. Against me. Everything. What is it? For everyone. That's it: everything.
And what happens with what I like to me? TO ME. Not them. TO ME. What if I want to live, write, sing, travel, love and be loved ... I want the world, and I want it now. No waiting, "You have to suffer and work to earn it," One thing at a time, "" Now it's silent and prepare for tomorrow, when you grow old and do what you want. " To me is that these phrases refanfinflan me. That and the solemnity of the biggest is that ...
They also make me angry.
I love you, but ... Phew, I mean ... well, if you know what I mean. Guess not. If I knew it would be easier to explain. I know what I feel, period.
And I feel lonely, angry, turned on.
What's going on, eh? WHAT'S HAPPENING?
teen fuck, you.

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Letters to the Editor - I'll miss Tree



In Shock. Precisely that was my reaction a few hours to walk from the univarsidad come to my house, when a block alrrededortes I realize that my house was empty, no people, something was missing when, on approaching a little more I could tell that about two feet from the door my home ... which was always a beautiful tree, now there was a tiny piece of the tree trunk that I remember forever, so inclined, giving the facility to play on it and ride. Angry
asked my mom to come home to who it is that it has taken and why. Apparently, nobody has any idea why they have taken, but if sbaen which was the municipality. Can we know why the municipality waste time removing trees that do not affect anyone when they should worry about things a bit more important than involving our community? and if you wanted to remove trees, why they took only that and not the rest? Could it be that in Valparaíso too many trees already has become a must pluck? Awesome I think deign to modify such a huge and serious way street in which it must ask permission to paint because it has the oldest houses in town, and is one of the few places in the region which forms part of heritage. What beautiful photos tourists will now ply the streets alongside a stump.

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I think this year I have not even once taken the time to think Veradero what being in college. At least not here, because I wasted my time trying to write mourning and feelings that sound so sad and moving, depending on what is happening to me, that is to say ... lately not play with good luck, but independent of that which is already falling behind, now short reflection on the university and decided I was going to write. I was in the mall and as long ago did, I went to a bookstore ... and started looking titles. How long ago did not do that!, Long, long time since I read a book for fun or curiosity, and much more time since I bought a book for me, who want to devote your time!, Who wanted to be able to So if even I began to reread Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, planned carefully read a few chapters per day well not to neglect their studies, but I could not! I had to let my pressure reading, because there are many texts that I read, much more that I write, and thus not much time left.
Clearly there leisure time .. to spend, that I, while the commutative, or some sort of entertainment that does not take much time, but reading is something that I had to leave out, is what I most regret because I read books that involve other worlds, to relax me and make fun ride through the world of letters, I had to spend my money on books, photocopying, I had to sacrifice a lot, so that I say, I have and I'll do it for 4 ½ years more if I miss some line: /.
sometimes stresses me think I'm in college and my future is at stake, I think you assume that I have not actually fully still life almost like a game, so you're wrong, nothing will happen because they are your parents answer for you, but it is true, we are the only new build our own future. and I must study, study and study, sometimes I do not want, but you have to do it. The difference with the school, I dragged them out a few red and nothing happened, year-end total would spend the same course, here a red can change the course of things, can make you fail, you can delay your career. Today I prepare
for the future that is so close sometimes you have to walk carefully, without losing sight of the game, sometimes it all the more enjoyable tarbajo a pcoo, WSIN take encuenta that you do what you always wanted (in my case), what makes me want to do this, knowing what I always wanted to do, however, there are times when you do not want to grow.

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No Time Hypocrite

Yes, sientoq eu am a hypocrite, why? that I give me a counselor to help heart problems without having any real authority to do so, because I try to improve poderme hearts of others without even mine, because I have the shits with him, 'cause my mouth filled with tips for the rest that almost never take for me.
Because I cheated, because I lie, because I feel it's hypocritical, however, I want, and want to help.

Maybe, ideally a person who has no "smearing" "in his life outside the counselor, but in the end, what can you tell someone like that? if your life is perfect, do not have to say. On the other hand someone who is suffering and is going through the same sort of thing, know pain, know suffering, know what it feels like, you know what you're relieved, you know to tell you. So, I'm no hypocrite
In this way, why is then that we are able to advise others to be feel better, but we can not consider our own well sentirneos tips for us?, it is easy to say things, the harder it is to make them, so while helping the rest, we are beaten.

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a prince charming ...

Yes .. I must admit, at my age I still believe in princes and princesses enchanted tales and happy endings. Since the truth is that life diariamnete shows you that these happy endings are prácticamnete imporsibles, it is useless to dream, because only you away from the rality, so that when you get to it, the blow is extremely strong mind and damage almost irreparable.

Because of this, countless times in my life I tried to take away the charm of those frogs I know, to see if any of them becomes my Prince Charming, too bad you have been strong disappointments fraud, or because the toad that toad has up brain, or because he is a coward and want to get away by jumping. and that has always been raised as a princess, being aware of the importance and the value, not looking for anyone, then comes to wonder what you are looking at the prince ... to maybe have a little more clear film, or expectations. Most women, to answer that question, refers to physical, well, everyone is set primarily in the physical and you can not see someone and know right away. But there are others who do not care as they are, if you do not feel, and what you feel.

So I ask myself, what I look for a prince?, I do not want someone perfect, because they laugh at me, and I feel good enough for him, I do not want someone blond with blue eyes and perfect body for that, one day it will not. I want someone to be everything for me, you can leave everything that is not able to find a better satisfaction to be at my side. I want someone that I love and who loves, not finished looking for another start because the magic is over. NKO want someone to get tired of looking at me, and with the same eyes, have my legs. Someone let me feel like I stole your heart, but that, I might not lose, someone who will laugh at my silly baseless jealousy, someone who has a thousand and one details, not gifts, details. Someone who never gets used to me, that every day I see it as something new and not get tired of me, and we get tired of me. Someone ... not have to miss the need to realize what he had found.

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how difficult it is to realize that the person you want, and that, and definitely not for you ... is the person you need, is that person that makes you feel better and you feel breathless at the same time, one who keeps you alive. and simply can not let go, although you are aware that is not for you, nor you want for it.
but what else can you do?, Will you let go of the engine of your life?, You can not.

the truth is that I do not know how to live ... I try everything, tell the truth, cut to the chase, ignore, let alone, to hate, but when that person you are trying to rid your life is the person you need in it strongly, you can not do anything, just let live, let whatever has to happen, that, whatever it is, not to resist any kind, either be happy or suffer and mourn.

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hard times I'm so disgusted ...




estoy verdaderamente enojada y cansada....
Me carga ser yo la que persiga a la gente, me carga de que si organizo algo, suenen bakanmente entusiasmados y apañas, y despues no llegan, eso es ser maricon, me carga eso..., onda mínimo avisa, pero no te quedi sin contestar tu celular po!,
no así no se puede...
me carga perseguir a la gente...
me carga que si yo no los llamo, no me llamen y no sepa nada de ustedes...
bueno,.. eso querían?, eso voy a hacer,... voy a desaparecer.. y ojalá que se preocupen! 88

han escuchado alguna vez ese probervio que dice ¿si quieres que las cosas salgan bien, hazlas tu mismo?...
pues bien.. eso hay que hacer, y no depending on anybody ... pa even out. You want to make ago?, Do it, if someone queire go with you and you like, Bakan ... if not, to schedule your own departure. But no longer Hayq Oerder eu, waiting for you .. contestyes who care to give you an answer, or just arrive. acts ...
this is what to do, act!

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silence

So many things .... I felt sooo close, I lost it, and wept and suffered, I hated him for his way of handling everything.
and now ... Now, I just want to be happy. They told me to tell him, let him all clear, when I was ahcer ... I get an email saying unto me

Do not go to a love that made you suffer, love that one day you forgot
and worse, a love that one day he went to you!
not trust someone who said: 'I swear', 'she cried,' and then you
replaced without any pain. Remember: 'Who will not be cast,
again without being called. "



could not be found right words, and I preferred to leave well ... that no matter what had to pasaar, after the above, it would be for something. I still insist that talk to it is a thorn that sticks every time more more damaging, and as more come in me, but it will cost to remove it and heal the wound. But I have faith that something has to happen, for better or for worse ... and I let things take their course. But, so yes, I will not be more cowardly. I've lost many things for my cowardice, and not going to miss him too, because I love him and I do not care how many years younger than I have. If you see the momneto of speaking ... and face it, I will, with your head held high, showing that I do not regret anything, and whether it works or not, I'll keep the head in front, to show all who I truly am, and not hide in the frightened little girl, who cried all the time.

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Charter ... a. .. you .. xd

know, I've cried a lot all this time, I guess that's how stupid I was to believe and imagine that nothing bad pordría happen if one day you knew all this, because whenever he considers the pros and cons encontyraban the problems for me, anyway, always, only I would be stigmatized, because they were evil ahablar me and you, I considered an idol uff. ha!
encuenta never take an extremely important detail. In fact, I never thought they never saw signs of it. Your cowardice. I had thought that there was only mine, but to overcome it, I found yours, and was the worst, most painful because, coward, you avoided me, let me speak and did as if I was not part of your life. Now you read me like any other stupid person.
has been the biggest pain I've felt, the heart tight a choke for both mourn. There were endless tears I woke up at night to remind me that I was suffering, and could not quit while he slept.
My friends were worried about me, my mom got mad because they did not study, they called me, tore me, I was offered hundreds of plans to end painfully with your existence, but it was not your fault, how could you allow it to retaliate? How could imagine that I would be happy seeing you suffer?. Life takes hits very hard and this has been one of the greats, from the beginning.

One day my mother asked me cake was what was wrong. Why do my amoigas wrote those things on my wall?, And told him, quite ornate, but I did. For the first time I trusted one of my great sorrow, I was afraid but did not say anything. He said you were an idiot who did not appreciate the wonder that was near, and someday you'd realize what you lost, then, with your attitude, showing that I deserved. So I understood the true meaning of the phrase: "Do not cry for someone who would not cry for you "or something like that era.


days have passed, and still more or less the same, I hardly cry. Maybe it's because I used up all my tears and be momneto to erase the traces left and continue my way, without you all, teach me to fall once again and help me one day, stop falling.

is how I think it's time to close a stage to continue with my life. No without telling you everything. Contarte slowly captivated me and you became an incredibly special person that ended up at the totality of my thoughts, made me laugh, made me mourn hundreds of times, hciiste me jealous as a true breeding, made me feel important, thoughtful and dear, special. Hopefully one day someone you want to get even a little bit of loq ue I love you. And that day will not be afraid and you can take risks, jump into the abyss y7 endless, with closed eyes, not knowing what's coming, but at that time does not matter, only matters that you are accompanied by qalguien going to be with you and all will love and will sacrifice for you, for your joy.
All the best, really, because if I wanted, I could not hate ... Pawiii



PS: I think sometimes things do you return, do not say Bad, just that it happened to me with this. LA life, hand me back .. =)

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Memoirs of a shattered mind.

What a way to have people there, from a few blocks, everything is perceived absolutely packed full of cars, crowded with flowers. I was greatly upset could not be so cynical!, None of them really felt what was happening, yet they were there to fool everyone with his fake tears and look good with the family, but of course it always will bring a type of benefit. However, it was the only one who could plead with sufficient reasons to be there, I could not not be permitted, I was just expect everyone to leave, and thus to have a moment alone with him, talking. He came to the gates of the place, too full. What perhaps is that these people came for a walk?, Found absolutely everything that could happen to buy him, came and stood quietly in a place where I could watch all the people gathered, watching them until they left. After about an hour, those figures were removed from the site leaving it completely empty. No wonder he had witnessed while there, all are plagued with sadness, in black, but after he left, everything returned to normal, hope to hope that green radiating so much peace. He walked slowly, watching for anyone to see, that nobody could recognize, to see in the grass, that plate shattered souls, still had a hope that everything was a lie, it all a dream, that what was seeing is not true, unfortunately, it appeared that it was indeed a sad truth. He bent and stroked slowly, revealing the thin tears rolling down his cheeks, not even a small attempt to stop. His voice was a little effort, almost desperate to make a sound.


- Do you know? I can still remember, I think I'll ever be able to forget the biggest mistake of my life, and at the same time, the moment full of happiness. That day finally showed me your eyes do not hate, I never thought I would live long enough to witness it, like, ever thought I could do that much damage, that look, not even a drop of hate, but full of sadness , pain and coldness, I did much more damage than all the indignation you've shown me so many times.
And yet I can not tell when it was that started it all, when everything between us changed, I only notice when there was no turning back, it was too late, I was in love and you too, without knowing how, and so weird. Say love to hate, there is only one step, and just one step, which I can not remember.
That day I knew that I did not know what to think, I was so afraid as a little girl of five years and is something I'll never be able to forgive. Perhaps it was the only time you showed your feelings, you said what you felt, and I messed up. Stepped on all your pride, something that was very valuable for you, and completely swallow bitter aftertaste, it stepped on, ignore it, went through on all your principles and all the things you taught your family had to say it, but I could not I was able to assume, and I covered, covered myself with a horrible mask ever knew existed in me, Why? Out of pure fear, fear and horrible terror could only hide, cover up everything I felt and covered with a mask of coldness, completely forgetting that you had passed each and every one of the barriers imposed by the destination, our environment, family and even ourselves.
We hate for so long that I did not know what to do or say in that moment when I could not help but notice as you came walking toward me, walk with that arrogance that I loathed, and yet, long coveted, gave that step, one that separates the hatred of love, and finally I said in my subconscious that I waited so long, you recognized me, which had hated by many, was the owner of that lot of feelings that inhabit you.
But do you want to tell you something? Now, five years later, I can admit, I was afraid, the worst of all, the fear of what others might say if we were together, and I quickly answered with a resounding "no", which I never forgot, and which I still regret it and I regret every day, every time I remember how you left abruptly after that I reject.
Now I'm sorry, but what you claim, why it was not just my fault, the two were a couple of cowards, for not being able to defend what felt, not to fight, but, anyway, I was the most cowardly to bring any damn excuse, and thus not having to deal with everything I say, and everything above it if I would accept you as a person to which she loved. I regret that my fault has occurred all, if I were you, would you care, and nothing of this would have happened, forgive me for not being with you.
Well, it happened, and I can not do anything but sorry, I just want to tell you what I never could, and it is unfortunate to be in this situation where you say it, but are the most important in my life I had the grace to know, despite the number of times you Otherwise said, I love you more than anything, I hope that someday you can forgive me and understand my error.
life from now on, will be disastrous. I'll have to bear the brunt of omitting all these feelings for so long now, when I will have to face them, sorry, that without you. It is a punishment, my punishment, I assume that pain, just for you. I love you.


She left carrying carnations in their hands, the small plate that had been caressing, took her purse and not before, give one last look, he retired, as or more miserable in the beginning. It was now time. Pain is something that even though you try, no can hide, and this would not be the exception. Would have to assume at all costs, history and memories that had long been loaded, which was no other way to assume, alone, had a big problem, friends, how are they going to explain that the flame his soul was slowly dying due to the death of the person you hated most in his life? It was difficult, but I would assume, just for him.
walked toward the exit of the enclosure, which was completely empty, and allowing himself to be seized by the tears came quickly and filled his eyes, wiping the paint, and everything that could be found along of his face, until it was lost by the thin neck.
turned away, crying, ignoring the gaze that rested on her, walking quickly in tight bag, and in his hand, the cover of a crumpled newspaper, announcing a fatal news.

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fucked up ... Again


if csm! I fucked up with cuáticaaaa.! u________u ... is terrible. And that's what happens when you grab the weas half serious and half Webe pal ..
then as you want to laugh at what you said but in the end ... know it's all true ... but at the mierdaa ... that is what has to be .. total ... and threw me .... XD again.

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Phantom

Yes, I feel like a ghost to everyone, but especially for you, as siq uisieras forget that I exist. maybe that's why I'm so cold lately, because I've slowly been turning into the ghost, so I do not see, do not realize that I am, I exist and I hope some of you.
smile is so hard knowing that you normally see, who do not realize if you are, if you're not, if you leave or if you have not.
One gets excited waiting, but come they go, and you are not set.
who loq ue know it happens, but I'm not, I'm not, and no longer exist, and I
, keeping your photos on my walls
not want to feel well.

capricious and spoiled me I like the attention, and really, I hate this, I hate to do this, do not want it to happen anymore.
yet, maybe in three days nme see and hug me and not even realize how I felt all week at how little attention from you, and I can not help it, though I promise myself that try to do the same,
I can not, like me, it is impossible for me.
I feel sad, silly, jealous, no real reason to be so, it is not mine, can not be, but I am, and I can not help it.! > <.