Memoirs of a shattered mind. What a way to have people there, from a few blocks, everything is perceived absolutely packed full of cars, crowded with flowers. I was greatly upset could not be so cynical!, None of them really felt what was happening, yet they were there to fool everyone with his fake tears and look good with the family, but of course it always will bring a type of benefit. However, it was the only one who could plead with sufficient reasons to be there, I could not not be permitted, I was just expect everyone to leave, and thus to have a moment alone with him, talking. He came to the gates of the place, too full. What perhaps is that these people came for a walk?, Found absolutely everything that could happen to buy him, came and stood quietly in a place where I could watch all the people gathered, watching them until they left. After about an hour, those figures were removed from the site leaving it completely empty. No wonder he had witnessed while there, all are plagued with sadness, in black, but after he left, everything returned to normal, hope to hope that green radiating so much peace. He walked slowly, watching for anyone to see, that nobody could recognize, to see in the grass, that plate shattered souls, still had a hope that everything was a lie, it all a dream, that what was seeing is not true, unfortunately, it appeared that it was indeed a sad truth. He bent and stroked slowly, revealing the thin tears rolling down his cheeks, not even a small attempt to stop. His voice was a little effort, almost desperate to make a sound.
- Do you know? I can still remember, I think I'll ever be able to forget the biggest mistake of my life, and at the same time, the moment full of happiness. That day finally showed me your eyes do not hate, I never thought I would live long enough to witness it, like, ever thought I could do that much damage, that look, not even a drop of hate, but full of sadness , pain and coldness, I did much more damage than all the indignation you've shown me so many times.
And yet I can not tell when it was that started it all, when everything between us changed, I only notice when there was no turning back, it was too late, I was in love and you too, without knowing how, and so weird. Say love to hate, there is only one step, and just one step, which I can not remember.
That day I knew that I did not know what to think, I was so afraid as a little girl of five years and is something I'll never be able to forgive. Perhaps it was the only time you showed your feelings, you said what you felt, and I messed up. Stepped on all your pride, something that was very valuable for you, and completely swallow bitter aftertaste, it stepped on, ignore it, went through on all your principles and all the things you taught your family had to say it, but I could not I was able to assume, and I covered, covered myself with a horrible mask ever knew existed in me, Why? Out of pure fear, fear and horrible terror could only hide, cover up everything I felt and covered with a mask of coldness, completely forgetting that you had passed each and every one of the barriers imposed by the destination, our environment, family and even ourselves.
We hate for so long that I did not know what to do or say in that moment when I could not help but notice as you came walking toward me, walk with that arrogance that I loathed, and yet, long coveted, gave that step, one that separates the hatred of love, and finally I said in my subconscious that I waited so long, you recognized me, which had hated by many, was the owner of that lot of feelings that inhabit you.
But do you want to tell you something? Now, five years later, I can admit, I was afraid, the worst of all, the fear of what others might say if we were together, and I quickly answered with a resounding "no", which I never forgot, and which I still regret it and I regret every day, every time I remember how you left abruptly after that I reject.
Now I'm sorry, but what you claim, why it was not just my fault, the two were a couple of cowards, for not being able to defend what felt, not to fight, but, anyway, I was the most cowardly to bring any damn excuse, and thus not having to deal with everything I say, and everything above it if I would accept you as a person to which she loved. I regret that my fault has occurred all, if I were you, would you care, and nothing of this would have happened, forgive me for not being with you.
Well, it happened, and I can not do anything but sorry, I just want to tell you what I never could, and it is unfortunate to be in this situation where you say it, but are the most important in my life I had the grace to know, despite the number of times you Otherwise said, I love you more than anything, I hope that someday you can forgive me and understand my error.
life from now on, will be disastrous. I'll have to bear the brunt of omitting all these feelings for so long now, when I will have to face them, sorry, that without you. It is a punishment, my punishment, I assume that pain, just for you. I love you.
She left carrying carnations in their hands, the small plate that had been caressing, took her purse and not before, give one last look, he retired, as or more miserable in the beginning. It was now time. Pain is something that even though you try, no can hide, and this would not be the exception. Would have to assume at all costs, history and memories that had long been loaded, which was no other way to assume, alone, had a big problem, friends, how are they going to explain that the flame his soul was slowly dying due to the death of the person you hated most in his life? It was difficult, but I would assume, just for him.
walked toward the exit of the enclosure, which was completely empty, and allowing himself to be seized by the tears came quickly and filled his eyes, wiping the paint, and everything that could be found along of his face, until it was lost by the thin neck.
turned away, crying, ignoring the gaze that rested on her, walking quickly in tight bag, and in his hand, the cover of a crumpled newspaper, announcing a fatal news.
